24 hour countdown

Well people, this is it. And im not referring to Michael Jacksons tour. In 24 hours i will be stepping up on stage to complete my journey and become a figure competitor. I have done a lot of reminising over the last couple of days...how did i get to be where i am? How did i do it, when on some days, i really felt like throwing in the towell? How have i coped mentally and emotionally and physically to get to this point? And the answer: Im not really sure. Somehow i tapped into unknown reserves of determination to see this through.
This process has not just been physical, but really emotional. I have learnt things about myself i never knew - fancy that! After 31 (nearly 32 people) years of being me, i didnt know all about me at all. These are some things i have learnt about Lauren Badman.
* I am more determined than i knew
* When i want to be, im highly focused.
* Im not as emotionally attached to food as i thought i was.
* I need motivated people around me
* I adore structure and follow direction well!
* Im not very moody when carb depleting!
* I am too sensitive to others comments (well ok i really did know this one about me already!)
Theres many more, i could be on here all night. But the point is this. Just when u think you know yourself, just challenge yourself and see what u find out - it may surprise u.
Im feeling emotional about this process being over. As hard as it has been, i have enjoyed the process and am worried i may feel lost without 'prepping' for something. Do other figure girls feel this way just before a comp or after? I mean, im going to do more comps, ive decided this already, who knows when, maybe soon or maybe next year. Undecided. But maybe without the structure i will struggle...
Im also feeling emotional because this is a chapter of my life that is nearly over. i wont ever have a FIRST comp to prep for. The first is always a bit special they say.
And im feeling emotional because i want to do everyone proud tomorrow. I dont want to let my coaches down, michael or my family down, clients of the studios or myself. No pressure!
So all in all im a bundle of nerves, excitement, fear, relief, exhaustion and an eerie calm that comes over me every so often...

This morning i weighed in at...wait for it...51kgs! By stage time i should be 49-50kgs. My bikini is fitting great and im very brown from 3 spray tans! My bag is all ready to go for tomorrow and im practising my posing every chance i get. Im as ready as i will ever be.

I want to give a shout out to a few people:

1. Glenn and Corina my ASN coaches: You guys are amazing! You have supported me, guided me and taught me all the way through this process. You never gave up on me and have been there for me at the drop of a hat. I couldnt have done this without you guys, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I hope to make you proud tomorrow.

2. My family: Even though you cant be there tomorrow i know you will be thinking of me. Thank u for your words of wisdom and suppport. I love you all.

3. Kate T: You have always been an amzing person and friend. Thank you for always making me laugh, when sometimes i want to cry, and for believing in me, even on the days i dodnt believe in myself. Your a star!

4. My blog girls: All the girls that have left me comments over the months and cheered me on from cyber space - thanku! A particular thanku to Leisl who called me tonight to wish me luck with my comp - thanku your such a sweetie! The bodybuilding community is a tight nit one with loads of support, and you all have shown me that and i hope to repay the favour once you all start competing in sept and october.

5. My hubby: Saved the best for last! Thanku for being my rock, my best friend, and biggest cheer squad. In your eyes i know i can never fail. You have put up with a lot over the months and tomorrow i know u will be screaming for me the loudest. I love u.

So thats it people, sorry about the long post! Im off to get some sleep but will be posting pictuires next week and will be updating u all on how it goes. Keep everything crossed for me.

Here i go......................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xxooo