Well this is going to be very quick this post because i am only just holding my shit together... 2 days ago my husband and i made the agonizing decision to put down our beloved girl Maddison. For those of you that dont know, I am a more avid fan of animals than I am of most humans. I have always been an animal lover and 8 years ago i rescued maddy from the rspca. The following 8 years i treated this dog like a princess and she was spoilt beyond belief. She was my mate, i was hers.
The last few months have been very difficult as her behaviour started to become more erratic. She was getting older and should have been settling down a bit but she was always barking, agrressive towards aother dogs, not a fan of small children and generally stressed if not in her own little environment. She also suffered from hip displaysia in both hips, abyss's and a lump/tumor on her chest. So all in all a beautiful dog but riddled with difficulties. We had the option of keeping her locked in doors all day or drugging her up on medication to make her docile and passive - neither of which would have equalled quality of life in my book. Our wonderful vet stella (who has been with us through all the surgeries with our other dog Niko) agreed 100% that the best option was to let her go...
I have cried straight for 2 days, wracked with guilt and feeling terribly lonely...
We still have our beautiful Niko to hold and cuddle, and for that im grateful, but life just doesnt seem the same now.
Yesterday, i nearly threw in my comp prep. It just didnt seem important anymore. I just wanted to curl into a ball and stay there in my grief. i didnt cheat on my food plan yesterday - but i just didnt eat, which is kind of just as bad. Today, after A LOT of supportive pep talks from many of you out there, i am determined to see this comp through... i will dedicate it to mouse.
So with waves of sadness engulfing me every couple of minutes, i am pushing through, and although a bit numb i know i have to do this and finish it off.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Bring it home strong
Ahhhhhh. That is a sigh of relief... i will make it to the stage! You may be scratching your head wondering what im talking about so heres the deal. For the last 14 weeks i have been dieting and training, training and dieting, the occasional tear has been shed and muscles have been sore. I have had days where i feel like i could walk on water and days where ive felt like i could drown. I have had good 'body' days and bad 'body' days, carb depleted lows and warm breakfast oat highs. Some days it has felt like prepping would never end and other days, like today, i feel on top of the world.
Last week I wasn't sure I could bring a physique to the stage i was comfortable with. It wasn't about me being body dysmorphic, it was me trying to be realistic and not set myself up for dissapointment should my coaches tell me i wasn't quite ready. I was prepared for the worst, like someone going to war - i had all my armour on. And then it was time - the day i had been dredding...a text from corina telling me to come for a posing lesson - and the kicker - IN MY BIKINI!
So i tanned myself up like my life depended on it and wandered into the studio to meet my fate...
Glenn and Corina took one look at me and i knew - i was going up on that stage and i was going to rock it out! They were happy, impressed, excited and ready for me to represent them, ASN and unique at the All Females in 2 weeks time.
Praise coming from these 2 people in the industry is like winning lotto - they don't sugar coat things and have always been real with me. I had been given the thumbs up and something in my brain just clicked - im going to knock the next 2 weeks out of the park and bring the best physique i can.
So people - its on. Im ready. Im focused. Ive nearly done it. Wow. What a journey.
The next 2 weeks brings some challenges. My diet will change again as of next thursday, when i slowly start to remove things from my diet. Then tues, wed, thurs (the week out from comp) i will carb deplete completely, before i carb load fri and sat. I will also spend 6 days water loading and then depleting, leaving me dry as crackers. I know what to expect with this last week to some degree due to my trial water load and deplete at Easter time, but unlike at easter time i only have a couple of days before i can eat cake!!
The day after comp on the sunday I have organised a photoshoot with an amazing photographer, who also happens to be an old client of the studio, Lisa Ray. So this will be my opportunity to have a bit of fun and capture my achievement on film. Thanku Lisa, your amazing!
So things are rolling along nicely, and im excited about the final package I will bring to the stage. This week sees me just going through the motions of final heavy lifting and final stages of long cardio, and then im into 7 days out YAAA!
Til next time everyone
xxoo
Last week I wasn't sure I could bring a physique to the stage i was comfortable with. It wasn't about me being body dysmorphic, it was me trying to be realistic and not set myself up for dissapointment should my coaches tell me i wasn't quite ready. I was prepared for the worst, like someone going to war - i had all my armour on. And then it was time - the day i had been dredding...a text from corina telling me to come for a posing lesson - and the kicker - IN MY BIKINI!
So i tanned myself up like my life depended on it and wandered into the studio to meet my fate...
Glenn and Corina took one look at me and i knew - i was going up on that stage and i was going to rock it out! They were happy, impressed, excited and ready for me to represent them, ASN and unique at the All Females in 2 weeks time.
Praise coming from these 2 people in the industry is like winning lotto - they don't sugar coat things and have always been real with me. I had been given the thumbs up and something in my brain just clicked - im going to knock the next 2 weeks out of the park and bring the best physique i can.
So people - its on. Im ready. Im focused. Ive nearly done it. Wow. What a journey.
The next 2 weeks brings some challenges. My diet will change again as of next thursday, when i slowly start to remove things from my diet. Then tues, wed, thurs (the week out from comp) i will carb deplete completely, before i carb load fri and sat. I will also spend 6 days water loading and then depleting, leaving me dry as crackers. I know what to expect with this last week to some degree due to my trial water load and deplete at Easter time, but unlike at easter time i only have a couple of days before i can eat cake!!
The day after comp on the sunday I have organised a photoshoot with an amazing photographer, who also happens to be an old client of the studio, Lisa Ray. So this will be my opportunity to have a bit of fun and capture my achievement on film. Thanku Lisa, your amazing!
So things are rolling along nicely, and im excited about the final package I will bring to the stage. This week sees me just going through the motions of final heavy lifting and final stages of long cardio, and then im into 7 days out YAAA!
Til next time everyone
xxoo
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Whether you think you can or think you can't - either way you're right.
I love this quote. I think it sums up the process of figure competing perfectly. Prepping is a mental game - if you think you can't get there, chances are you won't. The opposite is also true. I have been battling with this for the last week...can I? Can't I? Do I even want to? And I have decided, yes, I do want this and I will do it and i will suceed. When I say suceed, im not referring to placing or bringing the best physique on stage, im talking about suceeding for ME. Getting up on stage will be a success in itself.
There are people that openly want me to fail. There will always be people like this out there and goodness knows if i let them affect me everytime i wouldnt have the personal success i have today. But for me i choose to concentrate on the people who have unconditionally supported me through this entire process: Michael my husband, Glenn and Corina my coaches, and Kate my bestie.
These 4 people have never let me down and their belief in me makes me want to suceed even more...
I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday. After a few crisis texts back and forth between Corina and I - i got a call from Glenn. Glenn, to put it all in context, is this great big italian unit who to look at could be considered intimidating. He has competed before and is very successfully running ASN Richmond store. Glenn understood what I was feeling - the fear, the doubts, the tiredness, the depleted mood swings - he has felt it all before. His words really resonated with me. He reminded me to look how far I have come and to stop comparing myself to any other competitor. He said "It's not about them Lauren. It's about you". He's right. This is why id lost focus - i was so caught up in what my other competitors may or may not be doing and looking - i forgot to keep focused on MY journey.
So with 15 days to go im re-focused and ready to finish this journey strong and with determination. I will get on that stage and be proud of what i have been able to achieve - not for anyone else other than me.
I want this to be a lesson to all our Unique clients out there. Anything is achievable, you just need to want it bad enough and do what it takes consistently to get there. The journey may be long but it will be worth it in the end. This is what i will be teaching my clients when i start nutritional consultations in a few weeks time. Just start something now, be patient and consistent, ask for help, dont give up and you will succed. Trust me - i know.
On that note im off to get on my ever faithful treadmill and roll with the positivity that im feeling today...
Saturday, June 19, 2010
20 days to go. Let the 'head' games begin
Well i have been very slack with the old blog haven't i? Apologies but most days when i have had time to sit and write out a blog it would probably look something like this:
Im hungry. Im cranky. Im tired. The end.
Soooo feeling a bit brighter this morning i have decided to write a more positive blog - not completely positive, ill still keep it real people!
I am officially 20 days out WOOP WOOP! What started at around 120 days out seems to have quickened in pace the last few weeks and is now slowing to an excrutiating speed! 10 days left on my current diet and then i go onto my 10 day out plan which even though i know is going to be tough, at least i know it is only for 10days and then i get to eat a real meal, so its all good.
I have started to book in all my glamour needs for the big day which is so much fun! I have booked in my 3 tans, 3 days out from comp, my hair, and nails, and then the rest will be achieved by the beautiful kate. Just booking these things in makes it all very real and feels very close. I also pick up my bikini in 2 weeks which is very exciting.
So even though im getting excited and nervous now, I have been finding the last few weeks quite emotionally draining. Hubby has told me I have been handling it all very well and havent been cranky at all, however I don't feel my normal bubbly self and i find it exhausting just trying to carry on conversations with people. Its not because imm not interested in what they have to say, im just constantly in my own head reminding myself what time i need to eat, exercise and prep meals - it doesnt leave a lot of space for much else! lol! I sound like an airhead!
I have been dieting and training (pretty hardcore) for 13 weeks now, you would think i would be finding this last stage easy, but its quite the opposite. I think im just ready to have a 'normal' existance again. Dont get me wrong, i love this process but its a long haul and its nice to go out and sit and have a chai latte and a meal with my husband on the weekends. I havent been able to do this and sometimes it grates on my nerves. I also have not been able to have cheat meals on this entire plan or high carb days, so my diet has been pretty bland right from day one.
My cravings have been swinging out of control recently too - its just my body rebelling. In fact I have had to remove the brown sugar from our pantry because even it is starting to look too tempting! Thankgod for cinnamon, splenda and jols!
So my eating has been fine, training has been a little lack lustre. Im getting all my sessions in (all 4 hours a day!) but my lifting capacity has really gone down hill and my cardio sessions are getting slower and less intense. Im doing what i can do at the moment and thats what is important.
My weight is sitting at 56.5kgs and im not expecting much change on the scales until i start shifting water in 10 days time. Glenn and Corina said i should come in around 53kgs which should be just about spot on. Everything feels very tight at the moment (i mean my skin not my clothes - could u imagine!!) and even my legs have lost a lot of size and muscles are starting to poke through which i love.
Oh and i have to give a shout out to Sara 'pocket rocket' brown who left me a message on my facebook. i was so chuffed that someone so successful in this industry took the time to wish me well for my comp and sending out positive messages to me. It really made my day and i look forward to meeting her at the all females in....20 days time!
Ok so thats about it, hope this post didnt come off to negative, but im just trying to express my journey, the ups and downs, and trying not to sugar coat it. Wish me luck for the last haul of this process and...im off to do some cardio!
xxoo
(Remember everyone after party saturday 10th July at Richmond Studio. Time TBA. Hope to see u there!)
Im hungry. Im cranky. Im tired. The end.
Soooo feeling a bit brighter this morning i have decided to write a more positive blog - not completely positive, ill still keep it real people!
I am officially 20 days out WOOP WOOP! What started at around 120 days out seems to have quickened in pace the last few weeks and is now slowing to an excrutiating speed! 10 days left on my current diet and then i go onto my 10 day out plan which even though i know is going to be tough, at least i know it is only for 10days and then i get to eat a real meal, so its all good.
I have started to book in all my glamour needs for the big day which is so much fun! I have booked in my 3 tans, 3 days out from comp, my hair, and nails, and then the rest will be achieved by the beautiful kate. Just booking these things in makes it all very real and feels very close. I also pick up my bikini in 2 weeks which is very exciting.
So even though im getting excited and nervous now, I have been finding the last few weeks quite emotionally draining. Hubby has told me I have been handling it all very well and havent been cranky at all, however I don't feel my normal bubbly self and i find it exhausting just trying to carry on conversations with people. Its not because imm not interested in what they have to say, im just constantly in my own head reminding myself what time i need to eat, exercise and prep meals - it doesnt leave a lot of space for much else! lol! I sound like an airhead!
I have been dieting and training (pretty hardcore) for 13 weeks now, you would think i would be finding this last stage easy, but its quite the opposite. I think im just ready to have a 'normal' existance again. Dont get me wrong, i love this process but its a long haul and its nice to go out and sit and have a chai latte and a meal with my husband on the weekends. I havent been able to do this and sometimes it grates on my nerves. I also have not been able to have cheat meals on this entire plan or high carb days, so my diet has been pretty bland right from day one.
My cravings have been swinging out of control recently too - its just my body rebelling. In fact I have had to remove the brown sugar from our pantry because even it is starting to look too tempting! Thankgod for cinnamon, splenda and jols!
So my eating has been fine, training has been a little lack lustre. Im getting all my sessions in (all 4 hours a day!) but my lifting capacity has really gone down hill and my cardio sessions are getting slower and less intense. Im doing what i can do at the moment and thats what is important.
My weight is sitting at 56.5kgs and im not expecting much change on the scales until i start shifting water in 10 days time. Glenn and Corina said i should come in around 53kgs which should be just about spot on. Everything feels very tight at the moment (i mean my skin not my clothes - could u imagine!!) and even my legs have lost a lot of size and muscles are starting to poke through which i love.
Oh and i have to give a shout out to Sara 'pocket rocket' brown who left me a message on my facebook. i was so chuffed that someone so successful in this industry took the time to wish me well for my comp and sending out positive messages to me. It really made my day and i look forward to meeting her at the all females in....20 days time!
Ok so thats about it, hope this post didnt come off to negative, but im just trying to express my journey, the ups and downs, and trying not to sugar coat it. Wish me luck for the last haul of this process and...im off to do some cardio!
xxoo
(Remember everyone after party saturday 10th July at Richmond Studio. Time TBA. Hope to see u there!)
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Energy...what is that again?
Ok well it has been a long tiresome week full of ups and downs. I really do feel bipolar sometimes on this comp prep - one minute im full of beans loving the process and the next im curled up in a ball on the couch unable to get up to get my next meal into me!
I had a change of diet recently which saw a drop in cals - it was just enough to put me over the edge, so it needed revising and seems to be more doable. The new diet is only an extra 80cals or so but boy it makes such a difference.
So diet. check. Training. check. Energy. Ummm not so much. BUT i only have 27 days til stage time...can we hear a WOOT WOOT?! lol! Excited much?!
I have 2.5 weeks left on this diet and then im 10 days out from comp which will see me tackle the horrid water load and deplete and then its showtime peoples. And showtime means tan, bikini, posing,and then cake...lots of afterparty glorious cake!
Ok so shoot me - im dreaming of rice cakes, granola cereal and cake. Simple things really but after 16 weeks of dieting im not really going too be hard to satisfy.
This next 27 days sees me making lists of things to do, such as booking in for tans, nails, picking up bikini, and a myriad of other things. Im so excited because my bestie from canberra, KT, will be spending the friday before with me having a bit of a pamper session and just chilling out with me, making me laugh and doing makeup trials. Doesn't get much better than that really.
So measurements done today. Im 56.5kgs, dropped some mls in my thighs (yaaaaHOOO!)and girth measurements are all still coming down. Im actually now getting happy with my shape as my legs are finally getting some good definition. Glenn and corina did a posing session with me the other day and they were very happy with the drop in my legs, so all good on that front.
So thats about it - boring blog tonight as my brainpower has switched off for the day. Havent felt great for the last 24hrs so probably need to go and get some more rest (sorry liz and jas for not making it to your get together ;( promise ill make it up to you guys).
Alright well all you girls and guys out there starting to prep for sept comps good luck, stay focused and keep motivated. Ill be thinking of you all xxoo
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Hungry hungry hippo...
I am hungry.
Perhaps as hungry as a hippo. I nearly clawed my husbands eyes out last night as he opened a block of cadbury chocolate in front of me. Men. I actually stopped the movie we were watching and told him to finish the f#%@ing chocolate whilst i surfed the internet upstairs. At that he very tactfully put the chocolate away and came and got me - apologising no doubt for being a bit of an insensitive douchebag.
Ok, maybe a little over reaction on my part but people, im STARVING! And im tired and carb depleted, so yeah sue me for being overly sensitive to the heavenly smell of chocolate ala areo bubbles.
Now, he did this the other night (i know right!) and it didn't bother me - well ok it did a little but nothing i couldn't handle. I sat with him, ate my chicken and had my green tea and was fairly content. It just goes to show the rollercoaster of emotions one can experience whilst comp prepping.
So onto more important things - measurements. Today im comfortably sitting at 56.8kg. My Body fat over 7 sites is still on 10% and waist and hips are down and so are my biceps ;-( Not good. Im losing a bit of muscle which is to be expected but i hate losing muscle - but i LOVE losing fat, so whats a girl to do?
Legs sllloooooowlly coming to the party. Im not stressing anymore because its pointless. Im doing what im told, im following everything to the letter, so if they come in on time they do, if not, at least i know i gave it 110%.
I did say that i wasn't going to post photos and boy oh boy did that create a stir! It seems u guys out there reading this and clients also, are wanting to see my progress, so it seems like i have to give the readers what they want haha!
Well there u have it. Please excuse the awful posing - im still trying to figure that out with the help of glenn and corina. It is such a crucial part of the on stage presentation - it can make or break u - and it is so darn difficult to master. But im getting there...i think!
Michael and I went to Georgia May Naming day yesterday and let me tell u, this is one beautiful little baby! Congrats stu and amanda, georgia is divine...see what i mean...
And finally, a shot of me and hubby on our way out...
He does my head in occasionally...but i love him all the same!
Ok well im off to cheat on my husband with my latest fling....the treadmill.
xxoo
Perhaps as hungry as a hippo. I nearly clawed my husbands eyes out last night as he opened a block of cadbury chocolate in front of me. Men. I actually stopped the movie we were watching and told him to finish the f#%@ing chocolate whilst i surfed the internet upstairs. At that he very tactfully put the chocolate away and came and got me - apologising no doubt for being a bit of an insensitive douchebag.
Ok, maybe a little over reaction on my part but people, im STARVING! And im tired and carb depleted, so yeah sue me for being overly sensitive to the heavenly smell of chocolate ala areo bubbles.
Now, he did this the other night (i know right!) and it didn't bother me - well ok it did a little but nothing i couldn't handle. I sat with him, ate my chicken and had my green tea and was fairly content. It just goes to show the rollercoaster of emotions one can experience whilst comp prepping.
So onto more important things - measurements. Today im comfortably sitting at 56.8kg. My Body fat over 7 sites is still on 10% and waist and hips are down and so are my biceps ;-( Not good. Im losing a bit of muscle which is to be expected but i hate losing muscle - but i LOVE losing fat, so whats a girl to do?
Legs sllloooooowlly coming to the party. Im not stressing anymore because its pointless. Im doing what im told, im following everything to the letter, so if they come in on time they do, if not, at least i know i gave it 110%.
I did say that i wasn't going to post photos and boy oh boy did that create a stir! It seems u guys out there reading this and clients also, are wanting to see my progress, so it seems like i have to give the readers what they want haha!
Well there u have it. Please excuse the awful posing - im still trying to figure that out with the help of glenn and corina. It is such a crucial part of the on stage presentation - it can make or break u - and it is so darn difficult to master. But im getting there...i think!
Michael and I went to Georgia May Naming day yesterday and let me tell u, this is one beautiful little baby! Congrats stu and amanda, georgia is divine...see what i mean...
And finally, a shot of me and hubby on our way out...
He does my head in occasionally...but i love him all the same!
Ok well im off to cheat on my husband with my latest fling....the treadmill.
xxoo
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Go fish
Ahhh yes I have been one slack blogget but alas I have been busy doing...wait for it...yes, still comp prepping.
People, it takes up soooo much time! I can't even tell you, and now, i have lost yet another hour of my life to the dreaded...cardio *sigh*.
My new program and diet is in. Im 4.5 weeks away from the All females comp and so it is go time - no turning back now, just focus, focus, focus. I have to admit I did get a little tear going when Corina told me I had 3 hours of cardio to complete on top of my weights program. This is 4hrs of working out 6 days a week. But okay on top of that I'm trying to run a business, keep the home fires burning, be a good friend, be a good wife, and mother to 2 kelpies, as well as prep all my food each day. Now i want to be perfectly clear about this - im NOT complaining. This was my choice and I am loving the process, but its tough. I guess that is why not a lot of people compete in this sport.
I am luckier than most though, owning my own business (in particular 2 studios) means that i work out whenever i want to and go home and sleep whenever i need to. Brilliant - actually i am one lucky buggar now that i think of it.
On that note, sleep that is, do any of you figure girls out there start to have difficulty sleeping close to comp? Im becoming an insomniac! Tips please!
Ok ok so i digress... yes my new diet. Its a lot of fish *drumroll*.... i LOVE fish! Yaaa !! So im quite happy, its very restrictive and bland but at least im not eating something i can't stand. So this diet lasts for 3.5 weeks until i go into my water load and deplete for 10 days prior to comp. Gee just saying that shows me just how close this comp is.
So i had a posing lesson with glenn and corina the other day - boy oh boy posing is tough work. I need A LOT of practice and fast! I will be incorporating 15mins of practice every day now and more regular lessons with G and C.
Oh and i know i promised to post progress pics but i kind of dont want to at this stage - id rather unveil my new shiny muscles on stage! lol! Well we shall see, i may include a coupple when im at least a little tanned!
Thats about it for now, not much else to report, things moving along nicely - weight is dropping, mls coming off and over 7 sites with calipers im actually spot on 10% body fat. The next few weeks shall see me dropping rather rapidly, to hopefully reveal some more muscle i have built - and im very excited bout that.
Just a quick shout out to Shannon who won her figure comp last weekend - girl you ROCK! What an inspiration ;)
Now, Im off to have a little sit down before evening cardio!
xxoo
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